While two individuals of any type combination can make a relationship work or fail, research conducted on committed couples shows there is a definite trend in the personality types that are drawn to each other, and in the type combinations that last longest in a romantic partnership. At PersonalityPage, we call these types "natural partners."
The natural partners of ENFP are INTJ and INFJ types. The ENFP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition pairs naturally with Introverted Intuitive types.
Outside of natural partner pairings, it's especially important for an ENFP to partner with someone who can respect their excitement for the possibilities they see everywhere. The dominant Introverted Sensing types ISFJ and ISTJ might find the ENFP's willingness to explore new ideas and territories irresponsible and impractical, while the ENFP may be frustrated by the Sensor's "by the book" adherence to tried and true methods. To a lesser degree, the dominant Extraverted Sensing types (ESFP and ESTP) might also present a challenge to the ENFP, although they're likely to appreciate each other's gusto for life. The shadow type for an ENFP is ISTJ. This type pairing is typically challenging.
The Judging/Perceiving difference can cause conflict in any relationship, especially when one or both partners are dominant Extraverted Judgers, who are the most controlling of the types. The ENFP does not like to be controlled, and is likely to butt heads with an Extraverted Judger.
How did we arrive at the conclusion that ENFPs are the natural partners of INFJs and INTJs? Through empirical evidence, research, and a thorough understanding of the sixteen personality types and the personality functions that drive them.
In Jungian terms, personality "functions" refer to the four core traits: Intuition (N), Sensing (S), Feeling (F), and Thinking (T). The term "attitude" refers to the direction of the function, i.e. Introverted (I) or Extraverted (E). The ENFP has a dominant function of Extraverted Intuition, a secondary function of Introverted Feeling, and a Perceiving orientation toward the external world.
Our natural attraction to people who share our dominant function, but who use it in a different direction works very well for us. We not only flip-flop the Introverted or Extraverted trait, but we also flip-flop the Judging or Perceiving trait. In this way, the partner that we choose for ourselves will have a very different approach to dealing with the world. If we are laid-back and indecisive, our partner will be structured and decisive. If we are reserved, our partner will be outgoing. Natural partners complement each other, and challenge each other in healthy ways. But for all of their apparent differences, natural partners share the same dominant function, which instills them with similar ideas about what's truly important in life. They will experience a feeling of being on the same level.
Of course there are many things that influence a relationship's success or failure, such as family background and intelligence. Recent research shows that the number one cause of long-term success for a couple is that they treat each other with respect and kindness.
Although we believe firmly that this model works well to help in finding and maintaining healthy relationships, it is important to remember that it's just a tool. We offer guidelines to help you understand the kinds of things that you value in a relationship, rather than guidelines that you need to follow strictly. It's important to remember that there's no such thing as an effortless romantic partnership. But undoubtedly, some are easier than others.
